Oh Joy!!!
Posted on 2003-10-10
It's now 7:05am which means I've been awake for over 40 hours, yet I'm not the least bit tired.
I did manage to get an appointment to see my GP yesterday afternoon like I'd hoped, but I'm afraid I didn't get any good news. I explained to my doctor that I was finding it more difficult to breathe than usual, [more so today than ever before], and told her about how cold I'm feeling and the fact that my lips have turned blue. First of all she listened to my chest. I was sort of expecting this as I suspected that I had a chest infection, but according to her I'm not getting any air at all into my left lung hence the reason I'm short of breath and getting the uncomfortable feeling and pains in my chest. I've been prescribed some antibiotics in case there is an infection present, but if I don't feel any better in a few days I've got to make another appointment so my doctor can write a letter for me to take to the hospital. Hopefully this will mean I get seen straight away instead of waiting 4 hours or more in Accident and Emergency.
The coldness and blue lips thing wasn't as easy to explain though so I've got to go to the hospital when I've finished the course of antibiotics and have some blood tests done. The form she gave me is filled out for the usual full blood count, liver function, glucose, thyroid function etc, but my doctor also wants to check and see if I have something called hypothyroidism [which in English means an underactive thyroid.] If the blood test results are positive I'll have to be on medication to regulate my thyroid for the rest of my life.
Oh joy!!!
Going back to the breathing thing though.....
I'm used to being short of breath - I have had problems breathing since I first became ill, but this time it's different. Now that I've been told that there's no air going into my left lung I am more aware of the fact that my chest isn't rising and falling as it should be. I know I should try not to panic or worry, but I can't stop concentrating on the left side of my chest, and each time I lay down and turn the light out so I can try and get some sleep I begin to panic even more. I'm actually terrified that something horrible is going to happen to me whilst I'm asleep.
Now that I've actually typed those last 15 words it sounds so silly - I shouldn't be scared of going to sleep at 23, but I can't help it. Part of me wants to go into my Mums room like I did as a kid if I woke up feeling ill during the night and have her give me a big hug and smooth my hair until I fall asleep, but I don't want to worry or wake her. She's not exactly having the best time of it either at the moment and she needs as much rest as she can get.
I'm actually tempted to take one of my sleeping tablets, but I can't mix them with the antibiotics, and knowing my luck if I were to chance it I'd end up having some horrible reaction or something again..... that's what happened the last time I mixed medication when I shouldn't have and I really don't fancy ending up in hospital again just yet, although if these antibiotics don't start working soon I can see myself ending up there anyway.
How much more doom and gloom can one person write about???