Ignorance Isn't Always Bliss
Posted on 2003-06-06
'Damn that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Damn it to hell.
Of course, we all know that I don't suffer from CFS. I'm just lazy, and I hate to admit it. So I come up with excuses for my slothlike behaviour to try to convince my three readers that I am, in actuality, a decent person.'
I just came across the above, which someone wrote in their diary entry for today. I don't even know the person that wrote it, I was simply jumping from diary to diary as part of Random Guestbook Signing Week.
Thing is, it's really annoyed me.....
These are exactly the kind of comments that I have to put up with all the time, and every time those words are said it hurts like hell. It feels like a slap in the face, even now nearly three years on.
'Of course, we all know that I don't suffer from CFS.'
Even if it was meant to be a joke, it's not even the slightest bit funny. Anyone that finds humour in other peoples illnesses has a very warped sense of humour. Would this person have said 'Damn that stomach tumour. Damn it to hell.' if they had a stomach ache??? Of course not.
'I'm just lazy and I hate to admit it.'
People like her assume that having M.E/CFS means that you're just tired all the time, but it's so much more than that. It feels as though this woman is trying to say that all people with M.E/CFS are lazy, but people like me don't want to spend our lives bedbound or housebound. It's not as though we woke up one day and suddenly decided that we were going to be sick and not lead normal, happy lives, lose our jobs, our friends, our independence and control over our own bodies. It's almost as if she's saying that we admit to being lazy because we have been diagnosed with M.E/CFS.
'Hey everybody, lets sit around and be lazy!!! We can say we have CFS and get away with doing nothing!!!'
'So I come up with excuses for my slothlike behaviour to try to convince my three readers that I am, in actuality, a decent person.'
CFS isn't an excuse. It's a devastating illness - ask anyone that has it. Ask Viks, who at 18 has been bedbound for 18 months or more. Ask Sheila whose 7 year old son has to miss school and doesn't play with other children his own age because he's too ill. Ask Kat who has battled with many things that nobody should ever have to put up with. In fact, ask anyone on my buddy list who has CFS. They'll all give you the same answer.
I don't doubt that the lady that made these comments can be a decent person, and I'm sure that she didn't intentionally set out upset other people, but in her ignorance shes done just that. She upset me.
I want her to know that shes reduced me to tears with her words, and that I am now a blubbering wreck.
Part of me wants to leave her a message or e-mail her and tell her how wrong she is. I don't want to bash her because she doesn't understand - there are plenty of people that don't. I want to explain what CFS actually is, what it means to be constantly ill like this. But, I don't have the energy or the strength, nor do I want to start up a guestbook war. That's the last thing I need right now.
Having M.E/CFS has ruined my life and many others, and this person has unfairly made light of the whole thing.
It's not a joke!!!
It's not.
No really, it's not.....