Psychiatry & The End Of The Road?
Posted on 2003-01-28
I've had an awful day today, but I won't bore you with all the details.
I got woken up at about 8:00am by someone ringing my doorbell, but by the time I'd got out of bed and run, (staggered), downstairs whoever it was had gone. Don't you just hate it when that happens??? I was too awake to go back to sleep so instead I just laid on my bed reading some more of my textbook for my Open Uni course, and panicking because I don't think I'm ever going to get all the work done on time. I was crazy to think I could cope with this, and do a small voluntary job from home on behalf of AYME. What was I thinking???
You know I said I wasn't going to bore you with the details of my bad day??? I changed my mind.....
As I mentioned yesterday I had to go back and see my psychiatrist again today, only when I arrived there was yet another doctor waiting for me. This would make three different doctors in three appointments - is this some kind of record??? Apparently the doctors 'rotate' on a 6 monthly basis which is why I keep seeing someone new - but this means each time I go back I get asked the same questions, have to complete the same forms, and have to go through my history each time. It's beginning to get very, very frustrating and it really upsets me having to go over all the 'bad things' again. I'm not sure what I can do about it though, if anything.
Mr B's company wont let him take a days holiday tomorrow so that he can sign for his furniture. Instead he took today off sick, and he's going to call in sick again tomorrow. He wasn't in the best of moods because of this as he doesn't get sick pay, and he came round here earlier on the spur of the moment just to tell me that it's my fault because I am "too fucking lazy to get off my butt and help him". One thing led to another, and he ended storming off, slamming my front door on his way out. He's taken his spare door keys back, and his CD's which were on my desk and has told me that "I am the most stubbon, selfish bitch he's ever met" and that he thinks I "enjoy living like a hermit".
Although nothing is definate I think this was the final straw for us both. I know he's been a complete git the last few months, but that still doesn't make me feel any better. I am still hurting like hell, and I'm still sitting here with tears streaming down my face.
Maybe it is for the best, but right now it hurts so damn much.....