Broken China
Posted on 2002-12-29
I dropped a mug of coffee earlier on. I watched it fall to the floor and smash into lots of tiny pieces, and instead of clearing away the mess I sank to the ground and stared at the fragments of china; tears streaming down my face. Each sliver reminded me of parts of my life that no longer fit together. If only the pieces weren't so small. I might have been able to glue them back together and make something whole again.....
I wish there was somone here that I could talk to, yet at the same time I know that if I attempted talking to someone face to face I wouldn't open up. I feel the ground spinning under my feet, and a strange kind of dizziness comes over me each and every time I try, so often it's easier not to say anything at all. It'd be much more helpful if people could rummage through my thoughts, find and link together the parts that are missing for me, then let me gradually heal and crawl out of this nightmare in my own time, without ever having to explain who/what/why/where and when. Instead I am left alone to search my mind for answers that I doubt will be there.