Christmas Day
Posted on 2002-12-25
I woke up today feeling suprisingly 'normal', well apart from the pain in my shoulder that is. It was only when relatives rung to wish me and Mum a Merry Christmas, and said that 'they hope things improve for me next year' or 'I'm sure 2003 will bring you lots of health and happiness' that I began to feel sad.
I couldn't help it. I wanted to be happy for my Mums sake, so I tried not to let my emotions show, but now shes gone to bed I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. I want to be better - not even 100% better, just 10% will do, but today that day seems as though it'll never come.
I also feel that I've been pretty insensitive too - I signed lots of guestbooks saying exactly the same thing to the people on my favourite diaries list who also have M.E/CFS/FMS/Depression. For anyone that I've upset by my comments I truely am sorry. I'd never intentionally hurt any of you.
One of my well meaning relatives said the following to me today; 'In all things, success depends on previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure'.
I guess I'll be failing then!