He's Due Home Tomorrow
Posted on 2002-11-24
Doesn't time fly??? It's been nearly 3 weeks since Mr B went to Australia and tomorrow he's due home. I wish I could tell you the answer to my question 'Am I going to miss him for the right reasons?', but unfortunately I still don't have the answer myself.
Of course I missed him, but these last couple of weeks I've also been pretty sick and depressed, so in a way I'm glad I had the break. That sounds awful, but it meant I could stay in bed if I liked without having him put pressure on me to go out, and I wasn't involved in an arguement each and every day which felt so good.
I keep thinking to myself why place yourself in a situation that will result in you feeling sad and worthless? When he gets back will things be just like they were before? Will all the arguments still happen? Will I be slagged off for having an opinion or for not agreeing to everything he demands? Will I be on the verge of tears everynight because of something he said or done?
Despite this I feel I have to give Mr B a chance though..... for all I know him going away might have made him think long and hard about our whole relationship and on the other hand if things are still the same as before at least I can say I tried. (Who am I trying to convince here, you or me?)
But I hate breaking down every single night, and I'm tired of feeling this low and disgusting. It's time for this to stop, yet I'm not sure how to make it stop. Splitting up would be the easiest answer, but I'm not sure I want that.
Grrrrr - I hate dealing with myself because that is the most confusing and complicated part of everything. I always have to stop myself and wonder if I am being reasonable or not.
I wonder what everything looks like in your eyes? I wonder what you'd do if you were me?
Hmmmmm, maybe a good nights sleep will help.