The Very Last Person
Posted on 2002-11-20
I feel like I am becoming worse in every way. I'm rapidly becoming the very last person I want to be. Well..... actually that's a lie, not the very last, but pretty far down on my list.
I know that I should be grateful for what I can do, instead of concentrating on all the things that I can't; and I know that there are a lot of people with this illness that are more severely affected than me, (like Viks) that cope a greal deal better than I do. I have to say that I admire their courage and their inner strength - this whole M.E/CFS thing has taken over my life, so I can't even begin to imaging what it's like for them from one day to the next.
I think a lot of my problem is due to the fact that deep down inside I still haven't accepted that this is me, this is my life, and it may not get any better for a long while. Knowing that I could carry on exactly as I am for another year, 2 years, 5 years, even 10 years really isn't helping with my depression..... knowing that this may be as good as it gets hurts, and is so discouraging..... Geez, I don't even wanna go down that road!!!!!
Can I have a body transplant for Xmas please???