Responsibility
Posted on 2002-11-14
Hi Guys 'n' Girls
Earlier today I was going through my bedroom and I found some stuff that I'd written quite a while back - some of it dating back to when I was at school (ages ago, I know). I'm not sure why I wrote the piece below, but I have and I thought maybe you'd like to see it: if not skip the next couple of paragraphs.
Heres what I found.....
Responsibility
'How can I say this without sounding dumb??? The responsibility I am talking about, the responsibility I believe in..... well, I guess it comes down to the responsibility you have to yourself. Because I really don't know much about life and I haven't done anything interesting or travelled..... but when I look around me and listen to others, all I hear is stuff about how other people will sort out life's problems for you. How getting married young is a good thing, because suddenly you're relieved of the burden of making a living, or dealing with personal choice, or even spending time by yourself. Where as I'm rather scared of the idea of trusting another person with my entire future.
There's not a lot else to say, except that I believe that the moment you trust someone with your future happiness you endanger that happiness itself - you've removed personal responsibility fromthe pictue. You might say to another person make me feel whole, complete, wanted, but the fact is: only you can make yourself feel whole. It's your responsibility. Love shouldn't be about dependency or what you can do for me, or I need you/you need me. Love should be about..... well, love, and that's what I believe in. Basically you are responsible for yourself and your actions, no-one else is.'
Hmmmmm, not sure why I found this today. Maybe there's a hidden meaning and someone out there is trying to tell me something - but what I have no idea.
I got another message from Mr B tonight. Yesterday him and his sister went to visit a dis-used prison that's supposed to be haunted. He's not convinced it is though as he didn't see any ghosts. I wonder what he would have done if he had seen one? He hates scarey films and horror movies so I'm suprised he even went in in the first place - me on the other hand can't get enough of them.
What else??? Ummmmm, oh yes!!! I had a letter from the psychologist today. Enclosed was a consent form and a questionnaire that I have to complete and return before an appointment can be made for me. I'm not sure why though, surely they don't do that for every patient??? Oh well, if they do that would explain why it's taken so long for them to contact me in the first place.
Oh, and before I forget I GOT SNOWBALLED (thanks Rachel - ya got me good 'n' proper girl).
Righty, I'm of to pop a sleeping pill. Maybe then I'll get a good nights sleep.