Safety
Posted on 2004-06-14
This is me - staring off into space minus all those frantic afterthoughts.
I'm feeling inaccessible and removed, and I feel so safe when I can erase the care and sweep my feelings under the carpet. When I can bolt my locks and keep everything out.
It feels so safe when my eyes are heavy from the chemicals in my bloodstream and there's no one vying for my attention. The adrenaline has left my system and I can melt into the furniture, and become unrecognisable.
It feels so safe to know no one, to feel nothing.....
.....but I would trade my safety for everything to be 'right' in my world, and for a brain that doesn't constantly think.
For safety, as precious as it is; cannot save me from myself.