Regression
Posted on 2003-12-12
When you are attacked, whether it be verbally or physically, something is taken away from you. Your pride, your sense of worth, your self esteem all take a beating..... because during that time you are stripped of your power, of your ability to fight back.
I know everyone reacts differently to situations. I think, because of my childhood, I learned to shut up - to not tell, and it's obviously had an affect on the way I handle things now I'm older.
One thing I've learned from Kate, [during my therapy sessions], is that I regress to other times when I feel threatened, sad or hurt. I become an injured, scared child all over again, but I have no idea how to break the cycle. I wasn't even aware that my behaviour and mannerisms changed so much that they became evident to another person. Now I just feel plain paranoid.
But how do you change the habit of a lifetime???
I guess that's something I'm going to have to work through with Kate in 2004.....