Dot The I's And Cross The T's
Posted on 2003-10-04
It doesn't stop. It never goes away. It comes back and slaps you in the face without any warning. There is no real healing. Bandages are changed, clean ones put on and life just keeps moving. There is no time for one to complain about ones injuries. This is nowhere to scream; too many other peoples feelings to consider, your own just put on the backburner where they smoulder and rot slowly, eating away at your soul.
You wonder if there will ever be any peace..... any real peace.
You stop for a moment when you are alone and wonder whether you deserve all that has happened and is happening to you. Are you not a decent person??? Are you not worthy of basic happiness???
We are not talking about elation here - I mean that would be unrealistic - but just a sense of calm. A little bit of normal.
But the ghosts howl and torture you. They occasionally leave, but always return in full force, attacking cruelly just when you think you're doing better, leaving you weak and feeling as though there will never be an end to this.
So, you do the best you can with the cards that life has dealt you. You dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' like a good little robot and wait..... for peace..... in any form that it will come.