I Wonder.....
Posted on 2003-05-27
I wonder where I'll be the day I feel whole???
I wonder if I'll just look up one day and realise I've become me, become what I am. The 'what I am' that's meant to be and not the 'what I am' that exists now.
I wonder what city, what season, who I'll be with. I wonder if I'll be holding someones hand and suddenly turn to him and say, "Hey, here I am!!!"
In a way I feel my life is like a giant game of snakes and ladders, and when I get to the top I will have arrived. I will have survived everything that life has thrown at me.
I have to remember though, that slipping down a ladder is not the same as falling through the floor.
The difference is in knowing you can catch yourself, and knowing that you've built up enough bonds so that there will be other hands there too. Hands to catch, hands to help brush away the dirt. Hands to bandage, caress and hold.
Slipping is not falling, and even falling doesn't have to be as bad as it sounds. That's something I need to keep reminding myself of.