Cracked and Broken
Posted on 2003-05-19
Every day when I wake I carefully wrap myself up in a chemical cocoon where it is warm, comforting and safe. It's a welcoming place that I cant get hurt in. A place where 'they' wont find me.
I can just curl up and forget about mine and the rest of the worlds problems for an hour or two. For those 120 minutes I don't want to feel a goddamn thing apart from the fuzzy fog that settles over me as the drugs work their magic and run through my veins.
I don't want to discover what else has gone wrong in our society. I don't want to hear about death, disease, despair and destitution, famine, poverty, ignorance and arrogance. I know enough about this cold frightening place already, and it's no longer anything but a disappointment to me.
Maybe one of these days I'll emerge from all of this whole and beautiful, not cracked and broken. And maybe, just maybe, I'll even learn to cope without the security of my chemical blanket.