The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life
Posted on 2003-04-10
My first day in nearly two years as a single woman didn't go too badly. I was itching to pick up the phone and call him though, just to make sure he was ok, which was madness really seeing as I wanted him to feel like hell.
I mean, if I had called and he was ok I'd have probably got mad at him. He's supposed to be upset, and feeling sad and lonely, and thinking about what hes lost out on. He's supposed to feel like hell. In a way I'm glad I didn't call. What would I have done if he'd acted 'normal'???
I think a lot of my urge to call him came from habit. In the whole time I was seeing Mr B I could probably count on one hand the number of days that we didn't speak. Even when he went to Australia before Christmas he sent me text messages every day.
I know it's going to take time to readjust, but to be honest I don't think that the fact we have split up has actually sunk in yet. I keep waiting for 'that' song to come on the radio - you know, the one that for some unknown reason triggers something in the back of your mind and makes the tears fall, but so far I remain dry eyed and heavy hearted.
I appreciate all the message of support and all the hugs I've been sent from my friends though. It's times like this when you find out who your true friends really are, and I have a feeling that with a little, or maybe even a lot, of help from them, I'll get through this, and I'll be ok.