Little Lazy Ol' Me
Posted on 2003-03-20
I never thought I could hate him as much as I do now. Of course, anger is truly a secondary emotion, and really I'm just feeling hurt and very betrayed. Once again he can't understand why I'm upset. According to him I have no right to be angry, but I can't help it. It's the way he's made me I feel. And right now I hate him for making me mad.
Ok, you are probably wondering what it is that he's done which has made me feel so annoyed, and I'm sorry to say that it is something so insignificant that if I were healthy it would have gone right over the top of my head, but tonight he callled me lazy!!!
Anyone out there that is more or less house-bound or bed-bound by illness will understand why this comment angered me so much. It's one of the few things that will instantly change my mood, and I swear that if he'd been in the same room as me at the time I would have swung for him. Instead he was on the other end of the phone so he got away with just an ear bashing.
Would I be getting Incapacity Benefit if I was lazy??? Nope.
Would I be getting Disability Living Allowance if I was lazy??? Nope.
Would I be getting Disabled Student Funding if I was lazy??? Nope.
I have to say, its a good thing that hes going away next week to visit his Dad, because this was one of the kind of arguments that hangs in the air for days. Neither of us are going to back down and apologise. I know I'm not, because as far as I can see I've done nothing wrong, and he wont make the first move either because he can't see what he done that was so bad.
He says that he reckons he needs to see my shrink because I'm depressing him too, (another comment that pissed me off), he reckons that I'm making his eczma worse because of the 'added stress' I give him, (who gives who grief here???), and that I 'put on an act' to get sympathy from people, (I must be some actress to keep up this 'act' for nearly two and a half years).
I've already told him that I'm not going to call him tomorrow night like I normally do when I'm too sick to see him. I'm too angry. Instead he can get in touch with me when he gets home if he decides that he can talk to me like a normal human being, not the ignorant pig hes turned into.
Am I angry??? What do you think.....???