Laughing and Joking
Posted on 2003-02-20
I am so unmotivated today. Yesterday despite being sick I got a bit of studying done so I don't have as much to do today, and of the stuff I do have to do today, I�ve already done the things that have deadlines coming up soon. I'm trying to limit myself to 4 hours of study a day, otherwise I'm only going to make myself relapse (again).
There�s a part of me that wishes that I didn�t have an on-line tutorial at the weekend. In a way I am feeling anti-social. Well, not anti-social as such, I just don't really fancy talking to a bunch of strangers in a chat room. I'd much rather save my strength for my friends, but unfortunately it's part of my course so I'm going to have to whether I feel like it or not. Maybe I'm feeling like this because I've got these other bugs at the moment... I normally really like chatting away to people and finding out all about them and their lives. I wonder if that's why I like reading so many diaries???
I'm still having difficulty sleeping at night, but because I'm on anti-biotics at the moment I can't take any sleeping tablets. In a way I guess that's a good thing. I mean as I said in this entry I was beginning to feel like I was addicted to them, which can't be doing me any good, but at the same time I'm not getting enough sleep either which is almost just as bad.
I used to fall asleep within the first 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow, but the last time I looked at the clock before falling asleep last night, (or rather this morning), I�d been laying there for an 2 hours and 45 minutes. That's 2 hours and 45 minutes of serious thinking time, but I can't for the life of me remember what was going through my head as I lay there waiting for the sleep fairies to magic me off to Dreamworld.
I do know that when I woke up this morning I was in a much better mood though. I was cheery and even being a little silly and joking with my Mum like 'the old days'. Now though the good mood has worn thin, and I�m feeling worn out and a bit sad. I used far too much energy earlier on being happy, but I'm happy that I was happy. I know that that probably doesn't make any sense, but I've felt sad for so long that it was good to laugh and joke around like I used to, even though it's left me a little 'flat'.
I hope that this is a sign of things to come!