Never Ending Cycle
Posted on 2003-01-11
I've said before that being inside my head is like riding a roller-coaster.
Up, Down, Round and Around. Over, and Over Again.
Fight, Fight, Fight.
Cry, Cry, Cry
Sigh, Sigh, Sigh.
One minute I will be so angry with 'him' - thinking about what I would do the next time I see him, how I would yell, what I would say and maybe even how I would slap him right in his stupid face. Then I'm crying over what he said to me, and missing little things about him, before being back to hating him for his ignorance and lack of understanding.
My head is spinning around and around in a never ending circle. Normally when you think about circles you think of repetition - but I know that not all cycles have to be like that. Deep down inside I reckon that each time you can add a little something. Each time is a step. Each round can make such a difference, and can make you feel a little, or even a lot better. Time can lead to you almost feeling good; you just have to keep going and try your hardest not to look back.
That's what I need to do more of - look forward instead of back into my past.