Why Wont He Listen???
Posted on 2002-12-16
Yet again I hang up the phone after talking to my boyfriend and burst into tears. His words hurt me just as much as when I fell down the stairs, only this time the pain is in my heart.
"You don't give a damn about anyone else but yourself. You're too wrapped up in your own problems to care about anyone elses."
He couldn't be more wrong. I do care about everyone else. I try to put everyone elses happiness before my own. I'd rather make myself more sick than see someone I know and love upset or in pain, and he knows it.
"You're too lazy to open your eyes and take a good look at how much you are hurting other people. You never talk to me about how you feel. Can't you see that you are dragging me down with you?"
I am not lazy. If anyone has their eyes closed it's him. I've told him time and time again why I am sick and what is happening to my body. I've told him time and time again why I am sad, but none of it sinks in.
Last week he told me to go out and get a job. To me this is simply proof that he doesn't listen to a word I say.
He got angry with me today because I said that I wanted to come home after my therapy session instead of going to his flat for a take-away with his flatmate and his flatmates girlfriend. Again this just proves how little he knows and understands.
I've tried to tell him how scared I am of talking things over with the psychologist, how scared I am of sinking lower than I already am, but it feels as though he's ignored everything I ever said.
Why wont he listen???