Burden
Posted on 2002-11-01
Ok, here I am, back again.....What can I say??? I have nothing else to do on a Friday night so why not update my diary? I also wrote another poem which I have called Loneliness. You can read it by clicking here.
I wrote this piece because I feel so lonely tonight. I know a few people that are going to firework parties, or people that are going to the pub; me, well it's just me, my M.E and my P.C. I hardly ever get invited anywhere much any more. My friends know that it upsets me when I can't join in with them which is why they don't ask me to go to the pub and stuff, but it also upsets me when I don't get invited as I feel like I'm not wanted anymore. My friends can't win, *sigh*.
At the moment I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wish I could quit feeling so bad about things, always thinking the worst and bing pessimistic, but it's so hard when I feel so alone.
I'm beginning to feel like a burden. Why would anyone want to talk to me or be with me, what worth can they get from me, especially in the state I'm in right now? Hell, I'd depress anyone that's near me! I'm probably even depressing you just by you reading this entry, and if I have I truely am sorry.
I realise that I have to change because I am upsetting the few people left that really do care about me and have stuck by me, and if I lose them I really will be lost.....