Psychiatry Shmiety
Posted on 2002-10-29
Boy am I glad today is over.
I woke this morning feeling tired, sick, nervous and shaky. I always feel apprehensive before a hospital appointment but going to the psychiatrist is 100 times worse. I think that it may be because the other psychiatrist upset me so much last time, and because psychiatrists analyise everything you say or do. It's kinda spooky in a way you know?
Anyway, today was my 2nd visit to the psychiatrist. The first psychiatrist is no longer going to be treating me, instead I am going to see her boss. I wasn't told why they've switched, but I have to say I'm pretty pleased about it. Dr M was awful and had no compassion or understanding at all - this new guy is so much nicer.
In todays session Dr B gave me some leaflets about M.E, (all of which I already had but I didn't want to tell him that), the names of some support groups, and suggested that I continue seeing my Occupational Therapist. He's also going to refer me to a psychologist for CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). I'm not entirely sure what this therapy involves, but I do know that the psychologist delves into your past and brings up issues which you would rather forget. To be honest I have a feeling that this treatment is going to upset me a lot. I've been feeling low for days now and I still seem to be crying a lot of the time. Talking about my Dad leaving and my friend dying and stuff is only going to make my depression worse, but then I guess the psychiatrist knows what he's doing. You just have to trust these people don't you? Your life is in their hands in a way.
I'm also worried about Father Ted. I know he went to see some friends of his, but I haven't heard anything from him for days. I know it's probably just me over reacting and he's fine and off having fun while he feels ok, but part of me is wondering whether he's made himself relapse. I really hope not, he seems to be doing a bit better lately.
I had a long chat with Claire today too. I've missed not talking to her as well, but she's like me in that her body clock is all over the place too. We usually end up meeting about 5:00am, I'm just going to bed and shes just got up. Claire is coming to London soon, so we are hoping that I will also be well enough to go and meet her for a while.
Well, I'd better be off for now, I've got another Occupational Therapy appointment tomorrow afternoon - these doctors sure are keeping me busy lately.