How Inconsiderate???
Posted on 2002-10-26
Earlier this week I was invited to Mr B's Mums house for dinner this evening. Jan (Mr B's Mum) is going to Australia for a month to see her sister and thought it would be nice if we all got together before she left. Its come round really quickly, I can't believe that she's flying out tomorrow.
Anyway, I was under the impression that we were going to be having a nice quiet meal indoors, and maybe watch a video or something after, but at the last minute Jan and Dennis decided that we'd go out for a meal instead. I didn't want to go 'out' out (if you know what I mean). I am knackered as I didn't go to bed until 8:30am, then my tutor phoned me to discuss my essays with me which meant that I had to use my poorly functioning 'little grey cells'. I'm also taking this new medication to fight the candida that's making me feel a little more sick than usual, so the last thing I wanted was to go to a restaurant - even if the food is really nice. I went though as I didn't want to offend Jan and Dennis, and she is going away for a month.....
By 8:30pm though I was beginning to 'droop', and I hadn't even eaten by this time. Everyone knows that I don't feel too great as they all commented on how pale I look, (thanks for giving me a complex) yet no-one wanted to leave the restaurant bar to go eat which put me in a bad mood. (I thought it was a little inconsiderate to be honest - I'd made the effort to go, but no one was thinking of how the noise, heat, smoking and rock hard chairs were affecting me). I know I'm going to suffer for this tomorrow.
If only I could be stronger..... I wish that I could tell people how their actions make me feel, or that I could say 'No', but I'd rather keep everyone else happy than cope with the guilt. Maybe this is an issue I should talk to my psychiatrist about along with my general feeling of sadness? I have an appointment on the 29th October so I think I'll sleep on it.
I hope you are all well and have managed to avoid the colds and viruses that are doing the rounds!!!
Goodnight All!