Cyber Party
Posted on 2002-09-11
My day started off pretty good then seemed to go downhill as the day went on.
As usual I woke up feeling pretty rotten, only now I also have earache to add to the list of body parts that don't work properly or hurt like hell. Soon I'm gonna run out of 'parts' to break down.
I don't know if I told you before, but I'm part of an ME Support Group, and through this I've made some very good friends. One of them, another girl called Jo, was celebrating her birthday today and as she is too sick to go out she had a cyber party with a garden theme. One person went as a hedgehog so we could use her to hold our cheese and pineapple, lots went as flowers and I was Weed out of Bill and Ben. There was champagne and a bar-b-q and karaoke too. Sounds really silly but it such good fun.
Another member, Vicky, wrote a version of Summer Nights from Grease by using members names and costumes etc. I have added this in a separate entry as I think it was so good.
Saw Mr B this evening. He didn't seem his usual self, and when I asked him what was wrong he said I was depressing him! Can you believe that? He's the one who shouts and screams at me all the time. He's got a social life, a job, money and most importantly his health, yet he thinks he's depressed. Maybe he is..... I know that having a relationship with me can't be easy right now, but surely he could have expressed himself better than just coming out and saying 'you're depressing me'???
Anyway, we sat down and had a long chat about everything..... again. Things never change though after each 'chat' we have. Mr B knows I'm sick, and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it, but he expects me to do everything HE wants, go everywhere HE wants, when HE wants. He doesn't seem to take how I feel into account.
Take Saturday night for example. I didn't feel so great but he wanted to go to the pub even though I am on medication and am not having a good time healthwise at the moment. I thought it might do me good to get out the house, but I've ended up making myself more sick in order to please him. I don't like saying 'No' every time Mr B suggests going out as I don't think it's fair on him, but sometimes I don't think he realises that I NEED to rest. He takes everything too personally.
Each time we argue or he gets upset we have the same conversations, then the next day he acts as though nothing has happened. It's really starting to do my head in.
To top it all off the battery on his car went flat just as he dropped me off home. He asked me to push the car in order to get it started, (another example of him not understanding - I'm not fit/well enough to be pushing 30 times my body weight), but it simply wouldn't start. In the end I had to pay for him to get a cab home as he didn't have any money on him. This cost me �10 (I only get �85 per week sick benefit).
What began as a good day ended up with me feeling extremely fed up and hurt, both physically and mentally.
I'm sorry for the mad ramblings but I needed to get this out of my system. Maybe one day Mr B will understand!