The Row
Posted on 2002-09-01
Had quite a big row with Mr B today.
I feel really tired, my muscles ache, I have a headache and a sore throat and basically I feel like I've been doing too much the last few days. I need to rest otherwise I'll make myself feel even worse. Mr B wants me to go round his flat, and although I want to see him I don't want my health to suffer. I need some 'me' time; time to catch up on some sleep and generally laze about on my own, but he doesn't seem to understand that.
It's the same every weekend. If I decide I want to stay in and 'get better' he gets annoyed with me. Tony, (Mr B's flat mate), usually spends the weekend with his girlfriend so Mr B gets bored. He tries to make me feel bad - it's as though he blames me..... if I was there he wouldn't be sitting on his own staring at his four walls. I've tried suggesting that he calls a mate, or goes to see his sister, but I just get barked at.
The problem is this: I need to rest otherwise I begin to feel more ill, therefore I want a day or two indoors on my own to recuperate. He wants to see me 24/7 which is flattering, but simply not possible. It's a shame 'cos everything was ok at the start of our relationship, he understood if I needed to sleep or if I didn't feel up to going out for a meal or down the pub.
Lately though he's been getting really shitty with me for being sick and it's starting to get me down. I've tried explaining this to him, but I get told that I'm being selfish - maybe I am, but I'm not prepared to put my health on the line for anyone.
I hope things improve but I guess only time will tell.