Psychiatrists Suck
Posted on 2002-08-22
Please bear with me while I take you back in time to just before I started this diary.....
In May 2002 my GP wanted to send me to see somene at an M.E. clinic. Unfortunately the closest one to us is at St Barts hospital, but as I live outside the hospitals treatment area my GP had to write a letter to our local health authority requesting permission to send me. The health authority wrote back to my GP stating that the referral has to come from the Maudsley Trust and that I should be referred to them, not St Barts.
As the Maudsley Trust deal with mental illnesses I obviously couldn't understand why I needed to see a psychiatrist, but my GP explained that the health authority want me to go as the Maudsley Trust can refer me to see a doctor at St Barts. An appointment was made for the 8th August, and I reluctantly agreed to go along. If it meant I was going to get the referral I needed I didn't mind quite as much.
As soon as I met Dr M (the psychiatrist) she told me that the Maudsley Trust couldn't do a referal to St Barts, but she would like to talk to me anyway.
After an hour of taking notes and asking me questions about my illness, my relationship with my Mum, my feelings about my Dad etc, Dr M concluded that I wasn't suffering wih M.E. at all, and that I was suffering from clinical depression which needed treatment with antidepressants. I would also be sent to see an occupational therapist.
(As I was on a low dose of antidepressants anyway Dr M just doubled the dose). I was told that I needn't return to see the psychiatrists again and that I would be referred back to my GP.
I left the clinic that day feeling extremely pissed off. I had gone there to get a referral, and walked out being told that I had a mental illness and I wasn't suffering from M.E. like all the doctors I had seen over the last 2 years had been telling me.
A week later on the 15th August Dr M called me at home. After I had left the clinic the previous week she had spoken with one of her colleagues who had read my notes. Between them they had come to the conclusion that I was indeed suffering from M.E. afterall, and that depression was a symptom of M.E. (I could have told them that the week before if they'd bothered asking me). I was still to take the antidepressants, and I was going to be referred to see an occupational therapist, but they also felt that I would also benefit from seeing a psychologist. These appointments would take approximately two weeks to come through.
Back to today.....
Imagine my suprise then, when I received a letter this morning from Dr M (the psychiatrist), advising me that an appointment had been made for me to see her on 29th October 2002 to 'discuss futher options of management'.
I feel as though they are totally f**king about with my head. Until I went to see Dr M everything was fine. I mean I felt ill every day of my life, but I was just about managing. Now I'm extremely confused about who I'm going to see and why and I can't get thoughts about my Dad out of my head. I hardly ever used to think about him, but like I said once before, Dr M has opened a can of worms. I actually feel worse now than I did before I met her, and if I refuse to see her again I can be sectioned under the mental health act (or something equally as bad). Someone thinks they can play God with my life, and instead of making me better I'm suffering more.
This is one of the reasons why I want to do the Open University course in Health and Social Welfare, I don't want anyone else to go through what I have the last 2 years.
I just want this nightmare to end.....
On a positive note I've had a second message left on my guestbook from someone called Sharon. I will write back, but it's hard to know what to say when you know nothing about the other person, so Sharon, if you're reading this I'm sorry if I make/made a prat of myself.
Until the next time, look after yourself.