My First Ever Entry
Posted on 2002-08-16
Acceptance has been the hardest thing for me during my illness. I'm full of ambitions, I just don't have the 'perfect' healthy body to back me up.
As I don't work I have plenty of time on my hands, plenty of time to sit and think about what might have happened if I hadn't got ill. Sometimes I sit here and wonder whether I'd have a great job, or whether I'd be out clubbing with my mates - but I know these thoughts are pointless. They're not going to make me any better, if anything they are only going to depress me even more.
I go to bed every night and dream about what I'm going to do once I'm better, but I'm scared that this day will never come. A lot of the time I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, even though I have family and friends who give me the support and encouragement I need to get through this.
My Mum has been brilliant. It can't be easy for her to cope with going to work, running the house on her own and look after me all at the same time, but somehow she manages and she does a great job. I can't think of a way to show how much I appreciate all she has done for me (so if any of you guys can think of something please let me know).
Well, I think this is enough for my first entry, so until the next time I wish you well.