Silly Jokes To Make You Smile
Posted on 2003-05-05
Thanks to Nicole, Aph and Woodstock for this compilation of jokes. I hope they make you smile.....
Q: What would you do if you kept 200 Goldfish in your bathtub and wanted to
take a bath???
A: Blindfold them!
Q: What did Junior say when he saw Grandpaw settin' on top of the stove???
A: Git off the stove, Grandpaw! Yer too old to ride the range!
Q: What happened to the guy who took a bath in his washing machine???
A: I hear he got pretty agitated.
Q: Why is it good to have holes in your underpants???
A: You've got a place to put your legs through!
Q: What do you have when your head is hot, your right foot is cold and you
see spots???
A: A polka-dot sock over your head!
Q: Have you heard the story about the messy, wrinkled bed???
A: No??? That's okay, it hasn't been made up yet!
Q: How do you get out of a room with a dresser, a mirror and no windows or
doors???
A: 1. Look in the mirror.
2. See what you saw.
3. Take the saw and cut the dresser in half.
4. Two halves make a whole.
5. Crawl out through the whole.
Q: What do you call a little Bear full of fluff who never takes a shower???
A: Winnie-the-Phew!
Q: What did Miss Muffet say to the Spider???
A: You can stay here if you want, just don't get in my whey!
Q: Why did the Sheep get pulled over by the police???
A: He made an illegal Ewe turn!
Q: How did Mary feel about the insomnia a few of her little lambs were
having???
A: Well, she wasn't going to lose any sheep over it.
Q: What's the difference between Cappucino and an Elephant???
A: An Elephant doesn't keep you awake all night!
Q: What would Dracula be called if he won the national election held every
four years in November???
A: President of the United States.
Q: Is it true that you can escape from Dracula if you carry a clove of
Garlic???
A: Sure, if you can carry it really, really fast!
Q: What's white and powdery???
A: Carnation Instant Ghost.
Q: What do you call an 8 foot tall Werewolf with huge claws who is wearing a
walkman???
A: Whatever you want, he can't hear you!
Q: How would you know if Godzilla was hiding under your bed???
A: Your nose would be touching the ceiling.
Q: How did Frankenstein's monster feel when his creator cloned him???
A: He was beside himself.
Q: What goes CLOMP! squish CLOMP! squish CLOMP! squish???
A: Frankenstein's monster with one wet tennis shoe.
Q: What do you get when you cross classical music with a ghost???
A: A haunting melody.
Q: What's the difference between a dark, deserted house filled with ghouls
and a loaf of bread???
A: What, you don't know!??? Geez, remind me not to send you to the store for a
loaf of bread!
Q: What's red and white on the outside and has yards and yards of bandages
on the inside???
A: Campbell's Cream of Mummy Soup!
..... And then there was the witch who cast a spell on a foolish man named Benny. She told him that if he ever used a razor on his face he'd turn into a vase! Benny didn't pay any attention to the curse. One morning, he decided he was tired of his beard so he shaved himself. Sure enough - next thing he knew he'd turned into a giant vase. The moral of the story??? .....
A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.