Chronic Illness
Posted on 2002-10-28
Others cannot feel what they cannot see.
So if sometimes I look well, but I tell you I am in pain
Please do not judge me, I wish I "was" well again.
Illness is not my choice it's what life dealt to me.
For you to disbelieve me or doubt me, breaks my heart.
For you are my Family, Doctor or even a Good Friend
Must I earn your "trust" all over again?
Chronic means on and off but always there
Today I may be able to do something, tomorrow maybe I can't
I have to try hard to work within my limit
Or the next day I may wind up at the clinic.
Funny how when you have a chronic illness and you finally adjust.
You find that it has led to another and you must handle that too.
Sometimes you have two or even more, oh my what a chore.
Some even tell you, You can't walk anymore.
All of these illnesses robs me of my life
I can never be normal like you again.
It is hard for me to accept what I am going through
I don't need the extra stress trying to convince you.
At times, I have mood swings, I may snap at you.
If I do I am sorry, Please understand, I am angry at "me."
I try to do what I've done before perhaps even a simple chore
But then I find that my muscles don't seem to work anymore.
I want to be that parent, grandmother or friend
The one I "lost" when this illness came upon me.
The one I tried to be when I was there for you.
The one I "was" when I was able to do.
Every time I say no to you, don't be angry at me
Every No I have to say reminds me I am "not" normal anymore.
So please, don't doubt me, just try to understand.
It was not my choice! It is just God's Plan.