Quarter Of A Century
Posted on 2004-12-06
Today is my birthday, and as a friend of mine so humorously pointed out, I turned a quarter of a century old.
Quarter of a century sounds a pretty significant number. It should be a time when I reflect on all the things that I've done with my life. I would think at the big two-five I should have accomplished a lot by now. I haven't.
For some reason thinking like this makes me both happy and sad. So, I'm trying not to think like this at all.
I don't think I look 25, but I do find myself feeling my age. I have friends who are older then me, and sometimes I can't help but feel like they are younger. Then of course I have other friends who are the same age or younger than me, and they seen eons ahead in maturity. When I say 'maturity' I don't mean boring or dull or middle-aged - what I mean is they seem sure of themselves, or responsible, ready for life.
But then is anyone ready for life??? We've always been living our life, but it sort of sweeps you up. I know many of the choices I've made in my life don't seem like huge decisions. Sometimes things just happen and you just go along with it.
That's another point of discussion. I'm very happy with my life, despite the sometimes downright depressing entries I've written here. I don't lead an exciting, jet-setting life. I pretty much am living the same life as anyone else. I went to school, passed my GCSE's, got a job, got sick, and one day, when I meet the right man, I hope to marry and have a family of my own.
So does that mean that I just did what I thought I should do, or did I do what I wanted to do???
To be honest, maybe the answer is a little of both. I think I am conditioned by my upbringing and society to do certain things, to follow a certain order. But these things might coincide with what I want to do.
For example: writing. For a time I thought that's what I wanted to do with my life; maybe that's why I ended up working for a publishers when I left school. To be truthful I enjoy using computers just as much as I do writing - in different ways of course, but [when I get better] do I want a career in computers??? I don't think so.
But I digress.
Like I said before, today is my birthday. It's also the 16th anniversary of the Montreal Massacre. On 6th December 1989 a man walked through L'Ecole Polytechnique and gunned down fourteen women claiming that feminists had ruined his life.
I want to say something profound here. Something that will express how I'm feeling, and that will make people think. But sadly I am at a loss for words. All I can say is that it was a pointless, violent act against women..... against humanity. This tragedy cost fourteen intelligent, talented young women their lives. They never had a chance to fulfil their dreams.
I was just 10 years old when this tragedy occurred, but it's something that I remember every birthday, and although I enjoy the day and continue the celebrations with my friends and family, I always spare a thought for the families of those women who died.
Anyway, I don't want to end on a sad note. It is my birthday after all.....
Here's to the next quarter of a century!!!