Moments Like These
Posted on 2004-11-18
Sometimes when I'm not feeling good I sit down and try to write something just to get my spirits up again. The paragraph below was something that came out of one of those recent writings.....
Memories can do wonders if you let them. It's those little things that are the most important..... those little everyday things that make you feel the luckiest person in the whole wide world..... just lucky to be alive and to be able to live through moments like these. And the best thing about them is that they don't have to be old memories.....
This works for me, and it usually helps just enough to feel a little better for a while or at least long enough for me to get more optimistic and to climb up from that dark hole that I've been slowly digging for myself [intentionally or unintentionally].
It often seems like the deeper the hole gets the more determined I am. I'll search for something, anything to hold on to, and somehow I am able to hold on long enough to gather the strength that I need to get through whatever it is and climb back up to the point I'm at now.
But climbing up isn't easy in that sense of the word, and in fact at times it seems nearly impossible because I keep falling back. No matter how determined I am to get up it's sometimes inevitable that falling back down will occur..... and sometimes it occurs when I'm least expecting it.
Many times I have believed it 'to be over' and thought to myself that giving up would be a relief..... a solution to all my problems. It would have been so easy to have just given up a long time ago and the thing is that would have been a much easier option.
..... but I am still here .....
And I am glad. No, not just glad, I am happy that I am still here. No, it isn't always easy being here but that doesn't change the fact that if I wasn't here I wouldn't be able to look forward to discovering all the beautiful things in life or the 'moments' of the future. I know they are there, and I can honestly tell you that I don't want to miss out on them. Not for anything.
You see, life isn't supposed to be a forever lasting peace of mind and happiness. It can't be, because what would happen to 'the moments' of joy if they were every day for the rest of your life???
As I said it in that paragraph above..... After all, the most important moments in one's life are those little everyday things that make you feel the luckiest person in the whole wide world..... just lucky to be alive and to be able to live through moments like these.
..... and besides, if life was filled with a forever lasting peace of mind and happiness you wouldn't be able to recognise these most important moments from the rest.
So I say no thank you..... I'd rather have my 'falling down to the bottom of my hole and climbing back up' moments and 'moments like these' if it means the 'moments like these' will be happy memories.