M.U.G.
Posted on 2003-07-14
What happened to 'if ever you need to talk I'll be here for you too hon'???
I typed out one sentence to you asking your advice, and you put up your 'away' message straight away. I know you were still sitting there behind your computer; you updated your journal, you left messages for our friends, yet you couldn't spare me a minute of your time.
Don't you remember all the nights recently that I sat up until 5:00am or later listening to you pour your heart out, knowing all the while that every minute I sat there I would pay for dearly later??? I'm quite willing to help you, to listen to you and to sympathise with you during your dark days, you know that. But friendship is a two way thing.
I rarely ask anything of anyone, but when I finally do drum up the courage to talk to someone and admit that I'm struggling on my own, I have a yellow notebook slammed in my face.
Is it any wonder that my diary seems so depressing to people, if I can't turn to my so called 'friends'??? This diary is the only outlet I have left.
The sad thing is I know tomorrow, or the day after, or maybe even the day after that, when you come to me because you need someone to talk to, I'll be more than happy to listen, the same as I always do. I'll stop what I'm doing, shut down any other programmes I have open, prolong taking my medication, anything, just so I can give you my full attention.
I must have M.U.G. stamped on my forehead.